ADHD Dating and Partner Search with ADHD at Consonance (Gleichklang)
At Consonance (Gleichklang), we specifically support singles with ADHD in their search for a partner:
- Through ADHD dating that is specifically optimized for the needs of individuals with ADHD, we can increase the chances of a successful partner search with ADHD and a high level of relationship satisfaction for people with ADHD. Using ADHD dating, we bring together people who respond to ADHD with appreciation and acceptance.
We also support the further social networking of our members with ADHD in the following areas:
- Finding ADHD friends (friendship search)
- ADHD travel companions (search for travel companions)
- Search for partners for activities
- Projects or communities
At Consonance, dating with ADHD is successful:
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What is ADHD DATING?
ADHD and Relationships
ADHD stands for “Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder” and is a disorder that, according to the International Classification of Mental Disorders (ICD-10) of the WHO, begins before the age of seven but can continue into adulthood. It is characterized by a pattern of inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity.
Due to difficulties in action planning, self-regulation, communicative skills, problem-solving, and stress management, a wide range of effects can arise in both work and private life, including on romantic relationships, family, and child-rearing.
In the relationship domain, frequent conflicts as well as a pattern of rapidly changing relationships have been described.
An overview of possible everyday problems that may indicate ADHD is provided in the ADHD guide.
Dating with ADHD at Consonance
The foundation of the partner search and friendship search at Consonance (Gleichklang) is a psychological matching algorithm that brings together people who inherently have a good foundation for a relationship with one another.
This is a key difference from other dating sites, such as dating apps, where getting to know each other is primarily based on photos and geographic proximity. While these dating services can provide a high degree of entertainment, variety, fun, flirting, etc., they rarely result in committed romantic relationships.
Furthermore, general dating apps typically overlook the specific needs of particular groups, such as singles with ADHD.
Online Dating Based on Acceptance of ADHD
Beyond the general psychological matching algorithm, for online dating of singles with ADHD, we additionally apply a matching based on acceptance:
- In our matchmaking and friendship matching, we suggest to members with ADHD those individuals who state that they can handle a partner’s ADHD well and are therefore happy to enter into a relationship with a person with ADHD.
With this acceptance-based matching, we have already had excellent experiences with other groups, such as highly sensitive people, autistics, or people with disabilities, physical illnesses, or other mental health conditions.
Through acceptance-based matching, both rejections during the getting-to-know-you process are reduced and the foundation for a truly sustainable relationship is strengthened.
Singles with ADHD have good opportunities at Consonance to make their online partner search successful, thanks to this matching based on compatibility and acceptance. Incidentally, Consonance also supports the partner search for autistics and the partner search for other neurodiverse or neurodivergent individuals using the same principle.
Psychology of Partner Search with ADHD
Consonance Survey on ADHD and Dating
We surveyed members with ADHD about the effects of their ADHD on partner search and relationships and also evaluated published studies on this topic. The results of the qualitative member survey can be read here.
Consonance members with ADHD reported effects on their partner search and their relationships:
- They specifically described possible problems in communication and potential misunderstandings that can already make the formation of partnerships, but also of friendships, more difficult.
- A lack of understanding about ADHD on the other person’s part made getting to know each other and building a relationship more challenging.
- Symptoms of ADHD could also have a directly complicating effect, for example, if concentration on the partner search is difficult or if appointments are postponed (procrastination).
- The respondents also described deficits in their own relationship skills, which made it difficult for them to establish a proper balance of closeness and distance. For some respondents, this could even lead to fundamental doubts about their own ability to have a relationship and a generalized fear of being rejected.
- On the other hand, some respondents also described strengths that would come into play especially when a truly suitable person was found. Enthusiasm and a willingness for variety were mentioned as strengths.
- However, finding suitable partners is not easy. It is important that partners can handle the ADHD. This includes tolerance toward the peculiarities in the behavior of people with ADHD. For a successful partner search, understanding of ADHD on the part of partners is absolutely essential. Also important on the part of partners of people with ADHD is patience with chaos, impulsiveness, or unpunctuality. Partners of individuals with ADHD should also not react excessively with criticism, rejection, or dominance. Equanimity and humor can be helpful.
- Some respondents wished for structured partners who do not suffer from ADHD, or at least partners who do not have weaknesses in the same areas. However, others described positive experiences with similar partners, where shared ADHD could be bonding and promote mutual understanding.
Case Study by Jordyn M. Cain
Very similar findings emerged from a case study of three women by Jordyn Mc Cain:
- The women reported that some people were not suitable as partners for them because of their ADHD. A lack of understanding from partners could exacerbate communication difficulties. While one woman experienced a high degree of connection with a partner who also had ADHD, the others reported that anxiety-free communication and support could also lead to stable relationships with people without ADHD. The respondents benefited from strategies such as using appointment planners and time scheduling, as well as focused time-outs.
Conclusion: ADHD, Dating, and Partner Search
There is consensus that it is important for people with ADHD to meet partners – whether they themselves have ADHD or not – who can handle the ADHD, show acceptance and tolerance, and are not excessively burdened by it.
The findings thus support our approach that for the partner search with ADHD, good partner selection is of particular importance. We make this possible at Consonance through our ADHD dating.
As a single with ADHD, you do not have to remain without a partner. Through your partner search at Consonance (Gleichklang), you have very good chances of winning a person as a partner with whom you will also be happy in the long term. Likewise, as a person with ADHD, through Consonance, you can find friends who truly suit you:
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