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Absolute Beginner Dating at Consonance (Gleichklang)

The success rates of our matchmaking agency Consonance (Gleichklang) are very high for absolute beginner, i.e., people who have never had a relationship before:

Success rate of absolute beginners in their partner search at Consonance (Gleichklang): Among the members who classified themselves as “Absolute Beginners,” 52% entered into a partnership, provided they continued their search for at least one year. With a search duration of at least two years, the proportion was already 75%, and after three years, 88% achieved a partnership.

The foundation of this high success rate at Consonance (Gleichklang) for absolute beginners is the consistently implemented principle of acceptance:

At Consonance (Gleichklang), we ask all our members about their acceptance of a partnership with people who lack relationship experience. On this basis, getting to know each other is possible without inhibitions, and building a relationship succeeds.

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Who are Absolute Beginners?

Absolute Beginners are singles who have never had a romantic relationship in their lives. Defined somewhat less strictly, singles with only minimal or trivial previous relationship experience may also be referred to as absolute beginners. As a rule, absolute beginners also have no sexual experience with another person.

Absolute Beginners often suffer greatly from their persistently single existence, which can lead to self-doubt, deficits in self-esteem, depressive mood swings, but also to anger, rage, and bitterness. Many fluctuate between these various emotional coping mechanisms.

By querying the acceptance of people who are absolute beginners as potential partners, we can solve many problems that absolute beginners face in dating at Consonance (Gleichklang). Our evaluations show that the partner search ultimately succeeds for the majority of absolute beginners at Consonance (Gleichklang).

It should be noted that the underlying sample, with 282 individuals, was comparatively small. Nevertheless, it can be stated that the majority of these 282 absolute beginners at Consonance (Gleichklang) ultimately found a partnership. Previous lack of relationship experience therefore does not represent a disadvantage for the chances of success.

At Consonance (Gleichklang), we intervene to enable effective partner search for people without relationship experience as well:

(By the way, Consonance (Gleichklang) has conducted an extensive survey on absolute beginners, and the results are presented in this blog article.)

Absolute Beginners long for Love

The vast majority of absolute beginners do not want to remain single but wish for a romantic partnership. However, absolute beginners often dare to pursue a partnership less frequently, report greater relationship anxiety, and also a stronger social isolation than people with relationship experience. Nevertheless, the vast majority of them have not given up hope of finding a partnership. At the same time, the survey results show that the proportion of absolute beginners in the sample decreases statistically significantly with increasing age. This gives reason for optimism: In the course of getting older, most absolute beginners do eventually find a partnership. Regarding their partner search, absolute beginners are by no means hopeless cases.

A small proportion of absolute beginners, by the way, are autistic (Asperger’s syndrome, high-functioning autism, autism spectrum disorder). For our members with autism at Consonance (Gleichklang), we offer a special support option, which can be read about here: Partner search for autistics.

Online Dating for Absolute Beginners

Consonance (Gleichklang) is an alternative, psychologically oriented matchmaking service and dating platform that aims to effectively support all singles seriously seeking a partnership in their partner search. With its inclusive and emancipatory approach, Consonance (Gleichklang) also places value on specifically supporting those people in their search who have a harder time than others. This also includes absolute beginners, who often report difficulties with online dating:

Consonance (Gleichklang) asks all members whether they belong to the absolute beginners. In this question, absolute beginners are defined as people with no or only very limited relationship experience.
If someone belongs to the absolute beginners, we ask further whether the partner should also be an absolute beginner, whether it is only important that the partner has understanding for this situation, or whether the status as an absolute beginner should perhaps play no role at all in the partner search. To what extent and how strongly their status as an absolute beginner is taken into account in the matchmaking process is decided by the members themselves at Consonance (Gleichklang).
We also ask every member whether they have understanding and acceptance for absolute beginners and whether they would therefore like to be suggested to them.
Based on these queries, we can make suitable suggestions at Consonance (Gleichklang) that lower the threshold for contact and interaction for absolute beginners and can thus promote the building of a relationship.

Search Settings of Absolute Beginners

Absolute beginners participating in the partner search at Consonance (Gleichklang) make the following settings:

Only a very small proportion of absolute beginners at Consonance (Gleichklang) (approx. 2%) wish to get to know exclusively other absolute beginners. Most absolute beginners, on the other hand, do not want to restrict their partner search to other absolute beginners.
For 43% of absolute beginners at Consonance (Gleichklang), it is important that a potential future partner already brings understanding and acceptance for their situation.
On the other hand, just over half of absolute beginners at Consonance (Gleichklang) (55%) state that their status as an absolute beginner should play no role in their partner search.

Absolute beginners cannot all be lumped together in their desires regarding their partner search. Only very few absolute beginners specifically want to meet other absolute beginners. Nearly half of absolute beginners value acceptance and understanding, while just over half do not want their status as an absolute beginner to be considered in their partner search.

At Consonance (Gleichklang), we consistently implement these wishes of our members in the matchmaking process within the framework of our online dating.

Online Dating as an Opportunity

In our assessment, online dating is a real opportunity for absolute beginners to overcome their lack of a partner, but also to train relationship skills and social competencies, as well as to reduce anxieties and inhibitions. With our psychologically psychologically founded online matchmaking at Consonance (Gleichklang), we provide a space for absolute beginners to reflect on their relationship desires and take the steps toward finding a relationship.

The vast majority of absolute beginners at Consonance (Gleichklang) do not want to remain permanently single but long for a romantic partnership. The motivational basis for the partner search and relationship building is thus fundamentally present to a high degree in absolute beginners.

However, absolute beginners more frequently report anxieties and inhibitions and do not believe they are capable of a relationship. In online dating, the thresholds for getting to know someone and making contact are lower than outside the internet. This way, absolute beginners can slowly approach the process via online dating, train their communicative skills, become clearer about their relationship desires, and thus develop their relationship abilities.

There is, however, a small portion of male absolute beginners who have developed misogynistic, woman-hating attitudes and are to be classified as so-called Incels. Quote from the relevant Wikipedia article on Incel:

“Incel (a portmanteau from involuntary, the English word for ‘unwilling’, and celibate) is the self-designation of an internet subculture originating in the United States of heterosexual men who, by their own account, involuntarily have no sexual intercourse or romantic relationship and adhere to the ideology of hegemonic masculinity. Beliefs and feelings expressed by Incels are characterized by misogyny (woman-hatred), the claim to a right to sex, self-pity, and in some parts by the endorsement and application of violence against women and against sexually active men.”

Misogynistic attitudes are a huge obstacle to partner search and are contradictory in themselves. A loving relationship with a woman (or with any other person) is not a right but is based on the mutuality of attraction and affection. At the same time, striving for a loving relationship with a woman while rejecting women is a sure path to isolation and failure in the partner search.

Should you discover misogynistic attitudes in yourself, we advise you to engage in self-reflection and change, and if necessary, psychotherapeutic treatment, before you begin your partner search with us at Consonance (Gleichklang).

Good Chances of Success in Dating

The encouraging news is that the chances of success when participating in the matchmaking program for absolute beginners are good. We evaluated the frequency with which the partner search of our members at Consonance (Gleichklang) who were absolute beginners ended in success – quote from the blog article:

Members who identified themselves as Absolute Beginners: 52% found a relationship if they had not given up for at least one year. 75% found a relationship if they had not given up for at least two years. 88% found a relationship if they had not given up for at least three years.

You Can Only Win!

Online dating is thus both a promising path and a goal for absolute beginners:

Partner search and dating are ways to train social skills, become more aware of one’s relationship desires, and improve one’s relationship abilities. However, the main goal of dating is, of course, to end the single existence and establish one’s own long-term stable and happy romantic relationships.
Absolute beginners who use the online dating service of Consonance (Gleichklang) have a good chance of achieving this goal and at the same time growing along the way, promoting their personal development and social skills.