Sapiosexual Dating and Partner Search for Sapiosexuals
Sapiosexualität is a popular term that describes sexual attraction and arousal through intelligence and intellect.
At Consonance (Gleichklang), we actively support the online dating journey of our sapiosexual members through our matchmaking service. This is possible because, on the one hand, a great many people with high intelligence meet at Consonance, and on the other hand, sapiosexual singles can additionally specify reflection on education and intellectual topics as search criteria, which in turn correlates with intelligence.
As a result, in sapiosexual online dating at Consonance (Gleichklang), sapiosexual singles meet people with whom they can find happiness in a loving relationship:
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Sapiosexual Dating at Consonance (Gleichklang)
IQ and Sapiosexuality
It would seem logical to make a direct comparison between sapiosexual orientation and IQ measured by intelligence tests. However, in online dating, IQ is not directly recorded. This is neither common nor easily feasible, and this applies to Consonance as well.
Alternative Measures of Intelligence on Dating Platforms
However, there is other information that actually correlates with IQ and can serve as indicators of intelligence in the absence of IQ tests. Such measures are not perfect indicators, but in combination, they generally still enable accurate decisions.
At Consonance, we currently use two such measures for partner matching for sapiosexuals, but we are investigating whether to introduce a third measure:
- Formal education level: On average, people with a university degree or a doctorate are more intelligent than people with a lower secondary school leaving certificate. This is by no means always true. But if we lack further information, we will usually be right in assuming that a person with a doctorate has a higher IQ than a person with a lower secondary school leaving certificate.
- Engagement with educational topics: This is also an imperfect measure, but on average it also correlates with IQ. People with a high IQ will more often say that they engage intensively with educational topics than people with a lower IQ. If someone engages intensively with educational interests, this gives a justified reason to suspect that they have a higher IQ than someone who is not interested in education. Most of the time, the assumption will be correct, but sometimes it will not.
At Consonance, we record educational attainment, the intensity of engagement with educational topics, and sapiosexual orientation. Sapiosexuals can indicate, if they wish, that potential partners should have a university degree and be highly interested in educational topics. Most of the resulting partner suggestions will have high intelligence.
We are currently investigating whether we will introduce the following additional selection question for the partner search for sapiosexuals:
- “Sapiosexual individuals are specifically sexually and romantically attracted to high intelligence. I think I would be a suitable partner for a sapiosexual person.”
Again, this is not a measure of IQ, but an indicator of whether there might be a good match with a sapiosexual person. On average, people with higher intelligence will answer this question in the affirmative more often than people with lower intelligence. Furthermore, only those who are sympathetic to sapiosexual individuals will answer this question in the affirmative. Both could increase the compatibility.
We take the concerns of our sapiosexual members seriously and, at Consonance, we strive to support the sapiosexual partner search through a specialized matchmaking service for sapiosexuals.
Of course, for sapiosexuals, far more questions and information are taken into account than those mentioned in this article. However, specifically sapiosexual individuals can effectively steer their partner search through their answers to the two questions about the formal education level and educational interests of desired partners, thus meeting highly intelligent individuals for a loving relationship to a large extent.
What is Sapiosexuality?
- As a sexual orientation, sapiosexuality means that individuals are sexually attracted to, aroused by, and fascinated by other individuals who possess high intelligence.
- Sapiosexual individuals are thus attracted by intelligence in the same way that, for example, a lesbian woman is attracted to a woman, a heterosexual woman to a man, a gay man to a man, or a heterosexual man to a woman.
Sapiosexuality is defined as a sexual orientation but also has fundamental implications for the search for a partner:
- Typically, we look for people for romantic relationships who align with our sexual orientation. A heterosexual man, for example, looks for a woman, or a skoliosexual woman looks for a non-binary person. Individuals with a sapiosexual orientation correspondingly look for individuals with high intelligence as partners.
This has equally important implications for online dating and matchmaking:
- Online dating for sapiosexual individuals will only be successful if they can meet individuals with high intelligence for a partnership through online dating.
- Matchmaking for sapiosexuals therefore makes it necessary to suggest intelligent individuals to sapiosexual singles. If this is not taken into account in online partner matching, no suitable partner suggestions can be made for sapiosexuals, and their dating is largely left to chance.
- Dating for sapiosexuals thus requires a systematic search process that increases the probability that sapiosexuals will meet intelligent individuals who align with their sapiosexual orientation.
Correspondingly, sapiosexuals expect matchmaking agencies to take their sapiosexual orientation into account and suggest intelligent individuals for romantic relationships.
Dating Apps for Sapiosexuals
In English-speaking countries, there are dating apps for sapiosexuals, but these actually do not match based on compatibility between sapiosexuality and intelligence; rather, they introduce sapiosexual individuals to other sapiosexual individuals. However, this makes little sense, as sapiosexuality does not correlate with intelligence, and sapiosexual individuals are not attracted to other sapiosexual individuals, but by intelligence.
The fact that sapiosexuality does not correlate with intelligence has been confirmed by a recent study by Gignac and colleagues, which represents the most comprehensive psychometrically sound scientific investigation into sapiosexuality to date. It showed that a preference for intelligence in the choice of sexual and romantic partners is not related to one’s own intelligence. This means that individuals with lower intelligence can be just as attracted to high intelligence in their partner choice as individuals with higher intelligence. So there are just as many intelligent as less intelligent sapiosexual singles.
This finding makes perfect sense:
- We can be fascinated by a trait that we ourselves do not possess, or possess only to a small degree. This is standard, for example, with heterosexual orientation, where women are attracted to men or men to women, without being a woman or a man themselves.
- In fact, a match in intelligence between partners is common, but it is not a necessary prerequisite for a happy and stable partnership. There are many other traits, such as moral values, commitment, kindness, sexual preferences, etc., that are important for a relationship. Differences in intelligence can be compensated for by such other characteristics.
There is currently no dating app for sapiosexuals in German-speaking countries. In any case, however, the structure of dating apps is particularly unsuitable for sapiosexual individuals:
- Dating apps rely on the primarily visual presentation of potential matches. In a matter of seconds, decisions are made based primarily on appearance as to whether individuals are a match or not. Intelligence cannot be reliably recognized through this selection process, and the focus on photos with minimal text contradicts the sapiosexual orientation.
With our psychological matching algorithm, at Consonance we can effectively support our sapiosexual members in their online partner search:
- The strong focus at Consonance on profile text, the comprehensive survey of interests in the educational field, and the orientation towards a socio-ecologically and critically-minded clientele are far more suitable for sapiosexuals than the abbreviated presentation and selection options found on dating apps.
Psychological Studies on Sapiosexuality
The term sapiosexuality was not introduced by sexology or psychology, but by those directly affected. In the case of sapiosexuality, dating platforms also had an influence, for example the dating platform OkCupid with its list of newer sexual orientations, which includes asexual, demisexual, homoflexible, heteroflexible, pansexual, omnisexual, and sapiosexual.
Precisely because dating providers are close to those affected, it is the opportunity and responsibility of dating platforms to advocate for the visibility of their members. At Consonance, the corresponding sexual orientations are also recorded.
Sapiosexuality as a Sexual Orientation
Previously, sexual orientation was understood very rigidly as sexual attraction through the primary and secondary sexual characteristics of men and women. However, with the expansion of gender identities and the increase in diversity, this approach has become obsolete.
Correspondingly, Charles Moser advocates a significant expansion of the concept of sexual orientation, in which space also arises for sapiosexuality as a sexual orientation if Moser’s arguments are followed. According to Moser, a sexual orientation is characterized by a strong and formative sexual interest that is relatively stable, yet does not exclude fluidity, developments, and fluctuations. Crucially, those affected experience a strong interest that shapes their sexual search processes and practices, and to which they adhere despite effort. Usually, such strong interest arises early; if it arises later, it is typically maintained for life – despite fluidity.
Currently, the study by Gignac and colleagues in particular provides strong arguments for sapiosexuality as a possible sexual orientation that decisively influences or shapes the choice of sexual and romantic partners:
- Six questions about sapiosexuality could be statistically reduced to one factor, the essence of which was that intelligence is experienced as sexually arousing, attractive, and pleasure-enhancing.
- The higher the expression on the sapiosexuality scale, the stronger the preference for more intelligent and especially highly intelligent partners, both as sexual partners and as romantic partners.
- Depending on the criterion used – there is some subjective room for interpretation here – 8.1% or 1.3% of the participants in the sample were identified as decidedly sapiosexual because they had an extremely high expression on the sapiosexuality scale.
- Sapiosexuality is by no means about intelligent people seeking intelligent partners. Because it turned out that sapiosexuality is completely independent of one’s own intelligence.
The interplay of sapiosexuality with other sexual orientations, such as homosexuality, bisexuality, heterosexuality, or skoliosexuality, has not yet been investigated.
It is conceivable that a very strong sapiosexual orientation could become so dominant that the gender of the other person loses importance if they have a very high intelligence. This needs further investigation.
Although there are only a few research findings on sapiosexuality, the results from Gignac and colleagues show that sapiosexuality actually exists.
From this arises the necessity and the responsibility of dating sites and matchmaking agencies to take sapiosexuality into account in order to make the partner search of their sapiosexual members successful. Success in sapiosexual dating, in turn, can only occur if sapiosexual singles are enabled to meet other singles with high intelligence.
Sapiosexuality as a Discriminatory Construct or Hype?
Some claim sapiosexuality is pure hype:
- However, this criticism has been conclusively refuted by the psychometric work of Gignac and colleagues. Sapiosexuality is not hype but a psychological reality. People feel sexually and romantically attracted through sapiosexuality, and a subgroup of individuals does this so strongly that they exhibit a sapiosexual orientation. To deny this would be – despite the still early stage of research – similarly nonsensical as denying the existence of heterosexuals, homosexuals, bisexuals, or skoliosexuals.
Sapiosexuality is not hype, but do sapiosexuals discriminate against individuals with low or even average IQ?
- Sapiosexuals only discriminate in partner choice if we evaluate all sexual orientations that affect partner choice as discriminatory. Sapiosexuals thus discriminate against people with average or low IQ in their search for partners with a high IQ in exactly the same way as a heterosexual woman discriminates against women when she looks for men.
Of course, we desire an egalitarian society that allows everyone to fulfill their needs and in which everyone can contribute their abilities.
However, this goal of an egalitarian society does not contradict the existence of sexual preferences and sexual orientations, as long as everyone has the chance to be visible with their sexual orientation and to go in search of a partner with their sexual orientation.
Sapiosexuality and the Relativity of Pure Externals
The partner search of sapiosexual singles makes it clear to us once again that the external appearance is relative. Sapiosexuals find those who are intelligent beautiful. In view of the extreme superficiality and photo-centric structure of dating apps, this is a positive development.
High and Low Intelligence
However, there might not only be sapiosexuality as a sexual attraction through intelligence, but also a sexual orientation that refers to individuals with lower intelligence. IQ is overvalued in our competitive performance society. Individuals with lower or low IQ can lead equally fulfilling lives and pursue practical interests that are just as valuable as the intellectual educational interests that individuals with high IQ pursue.
It therefore remains to be investigated whether sapiosexuality as a sexual orientation towards individuals with high intelligence has a counterpart – a sexual orientation towards individuals with low intelligence.
What is certain is that the diversity of sexual orientations has only recently come to light to this extent, and it is particularly the merit of those affected to have ensured their visibility.
Conclusion: Sapiosexuality and Online Dating
Sapiosexual online dating enables individuals with a sapiosexual orientation to make their partner search successful by meeting individuals with high intelligence.
Matchmaking agencies also have a responsibility here to support the partner search of their sapiosexual members through a specialized matchmaking service for sapiosexuals.
Matchmaking is sapiosexual when it systematically enables sapiosexual singles to meet individuals who have high intelligence.
At Consonance (Gleichklang), we have accepted this responsibility and effectively support our sapiosexual members in their partner search:
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