Finding Sexual Compatibility Through Matchmaking at Consonance (Gleichklang)
“In a world where sexuality is either demonized or reduced to the sole purpose of life, you should not be alone – but experience yourselves together.”
Online Dating for Sexual Compatibility
At Consonance (Gleichklang), it’s about fulfilling, human sexuality – not quick encounters via dating apps, superficiality, or distraction, but real connection. This sexuality can be built among Consonance members, and we facilitate monogamous relationships, consensual non-monogamous relationships including open relationships, polyamorous relationships, swinging relationships, as well as friendships with benefits. We always seek out people for whom genuine compatibility is possible:
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How We Enable Fulfilling Sexuality Through Compatibility
The compatibility of sexual desires and needs is another important criterion in our matchmaking and friendship matching services. Through this, we aim to enable our members to have a positive sexual interaction in their relationships. Conversely, sexual strain, sexual dissatisfaction, and sexual pressure should be largely excluded or at least reduced.
Unfortunately, sexual compatibility in online dating is usually completely neglected, creating many unfavorable constellations that could be avoided. In fact, fulfilling sexuality can be an important factor in relationship satisfaction. Psychological studies show that fulfilling sexuality improves relationship quality.
Sexuality is not only about external stimuli and physicality, but encompasses the whole person, which can even extend to sapiosexuality, where sexual attraction arises through intellect and intelligence. In this holistic sense, from a psychological perspective, compatibility of sexual needs plays a significant role in online dating from the very beginning, in order to facilitate good sexual compatibility between partners.
Sexual Diversity
People differ in the intensity of their sexual desire, the frequency with which they want to have sex, the type of sexual practices they desire, and also in whether they want to have sex only with committed partners or are interested in casual sexual encounters.
This in turn is connected to individually preferred relationship models:
- The most well-known form of partnership is the monogamous relationship with sexual fidelity between two people. However, there are also many people who choose a monogamous relationship but actually engage in infidelity, which can lead to emotional pain and breakups.
- Alternative models are based on consensual non-monogamy. In open relationships, partners can maintain sexual contacts with third parties outside their relationship. In swinging relationships, couples maintain sexual contacts with other people or couples together. In polyamory, love relationships can develop between more than two people, and these love relationships can be lived together or separately.
Matching Based on Compatibility
Psychological studies show that all of these models can work with honesty, openness, and transparency. However, it is important that suitable people find each other so that a relationship does not start under false pretenses and fail as a result. Accordingly, in our matchmaking service, the compatibility of models regarding how sexuality should be shaped in a relationship plays an important role.
This is how we determine sexual compatibility at Consonance:
- This starts with the question of whether partners want to have sex with each other at all. There are asexual people who are looking for a romantic relationship but, due to their asexuality, do not want to have sex with each other. Likewise, there are people who, for other reasons, seek a purely platonic relationship. For relationship satisfaction, compatibility here is of paramount importance.
- But the speed at which sex should occur in a budding relationship is also a factor where strong individual differences emerge. For some people, sex plays a role immediately; others want to wait until a deep and stable relationship has developed. Demisexuals, for example, only experience sexual attraction once a firm romantic relationship already exists. If there is compatibility here, entering into a partnership is facilitated and relationship happiness is increased.
- Attitudes toward casual sexual contacts also differ among people, which can lead to experiences of fit but also irritations. Accordingly, this attitude is inquired about at Consonance and is also included in the matching.
- Finally, there are sexual practices like BDSM that are greatly enjoyed by some (about 10% of the population have a BDSM inclination), but are not liked or are explicitly rejected by others. If there is incompatibility here, it can strain relationships and even encourage double lives. Accordingly, Consonance matching intervenes here to enable good compatibility.
- Sexuality can also play a role in friendships. Therefore, we ask everyone seeking friendship whether sex in a friendship is desired, possible, or unwanted. This can prevent misunderstandings and allow friendships to start under a good star.
The option available at Consonance to search according to different relationship models sustainably promotes long-term sexual satisfaction and relationship satisfaction.
Sexuality and sexual experience can change over time and depending on the relationship constellation. Therefore, it can be useful to review and, if necessary, adjust the search criteria entered at Consonance from time to time.
Our co-founder and psychologist Guido F. Gebauer explains how to build sexual compatibility together in this video:
Knowing Yourself
Good self-knowledge is also helpful for entering the search criteria for your own online dating or friendship search.
At Consonance (Gleichklang), we support you in reflecting on your sexual needs, desires, and experiences. This makes it easier for you to understand what you are looking for and thereby achieve sexual satisfaction and the way you want to handle sexuality. The result should be a relationship in which good sexual compatibility exists. By providing information about your sexual orientation, your sexual preferences, and the importance of sexuality to you, you enable our matching algorithm to search for people who are actually compatible with you. This creates an improved foundation for sexual satisfaction and relationship satisfaction.
We support your self-reflection on your sexual needs and how you imagine relationships in a sexual sense in the following ways:
The Sexuality Experience Test captures 11 different components of individual sexual experience: Sexual Satisfaction, Sexual Experimentation, Sexual Love Connection, Sexual Self-Experience, Sexual Inhibitions, Sexual Problems, Instrumental Sexuality, Sexual Fluidity, Addictive Sexual Experience, Asexual Experience, BDSM Inclination. Using this test, you can better discover how your inner sexual experience is shaped and what particularities may exist in your sexual experience and behavior.
The test results can also provide indications of where you might want to change. The results make it easier for you to understand yourself better. This in turn helps you, when searching for a partner or friendship, to enter your search criteria in the sexual area in such a way that you meet people with good compatibility. If you have any questions or uncertainties about the results, as a Consonance member you can always contact our Support Team.
On our Psychology Blog, you will find numerous articles on the role of sexuality in finding a partner and shaping relationships. For example, the application and interpretation of the Sexuality Experience Test is explained here. Other articles explain the connections between love and desire, how sexual satisfaction can be achieved, or how passion can be maintained. New articles on the topic of sexuality and relationships will also continue to appear regularly.
Talking to Each Other
To achieve high sexual satisfaction and a happy partnership, we recommend talking about sexuality together. A prerequisite for a satisfying sex life in a relationship is that partners know each other’s mutual sexual fantasies and desires. When finding a partner, open conversation is also helpful to recognize incompatibilities and, if necessary, refrain from entering into a relationship together. Even in long-term relationships, some couples do not know how their partners truly tick sexually. Sexuality often fades away. This in turn can encourage infidelity up to double lives if there is no open conversation.
When a relationship is developing, conversations about sexuality can be fruitful in order to find a satisfying and fulfilling access to sexuality in the partnership and to avoid strain. Sexual honesty is possible and can make a decisive contribution to achieving high sexual satisfaction, relationship satisfaction, and life satisfaction. We motivate our members to reflect on their own sexuality and to be honest with each other from the very beginning in their partner search and friendship search. We give you tips and recommendations for this, and we support you in finding a person with whom you harmonize sexually.
Online Dating and Sex Positivity
When there is honesty from the start in online dating or friendship searches and everyone plays with open cards, jealousy, infidelity, and sexual frustration decrease, and the relationships found become happier and more stable. A relaxed, sex-positive approach to sexuality becomes possible and can enrich everyone’s lives.
Building a mutually satisfying sexuality as an important factor in relationship happiness is also promoted at Consonance through the consistent support of all gender identities and legitimate sexual orientations.
Sex positivity and diversity mutually depend on each other, and at Consonance (Gleichklang), we bring both together to make your partner search successful:
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