Understanding the Six Love Styles at Consonance (Gleichklang)
At Consonance (Gleichklang), we recognize that individual differences in love behavior can be traced back to six separable styles of love and their combinations. Based on interviews, the English psychologist Lee (1976, 1980) concluded this: passion, physical attraction, and intimacy correspond to the style of romantic love (EROS). Affairs, short-term pleasure, and low seriousness refer to the style of playful love (LUDUS). Community, shared core beliefs, and inner connectedness are the characteristics of the style of companionate love (STORGE). Rational cost-benefit calculus and practical considerations determine the style of pragmatic love (PRAGMA). Jealousy and emotional outbursts are exemplary of the style of possessive love (MANIA). Self-sacrifice and unconditional being there for the other correspond to the style of altruistic love (AGAPE).
In reality, aspects of several styles will be present in any relationship, but differences in how a partnership is shaped are associated with differing tendencies regarding the dominance of individual styles. At the same time, excessively strong discrepancies in the development of love styles among partners can lead to strain and conflict in the relationship. While Lee based his work on interviews, his approach was subsequently confirmed through questionnaire surveys.
Lee, J.A. (1973). The colors of love: An exploration of the ways of loving. Don Mills: New Press.
Lee, J.A. (1988). Love-styles. In R.J. Sternberg, M.L. Barnes (Eds.). The psychology of love (pp. 38-67). New Haven: Yale University Press.
